Letter to my Lib Dem MP

Dear Mr Ed Davey, Lib Dem MP for Kingston, Surbiton and other posh places,

I voted for you and for once I actually did some research and voted for you based on your policies. Next time I shan’t bother. I shall choose who I vote for in the same way that I chose which dog I’m going to bet on at Wimbledon Dog Track – comedy names! So far that method has never let me down.

Right now, having seen that you voted for the increase in University tuition fees despite pledging during your election campaign not to do so, I can’t help but compare you to a page three model. They’ll happily wop out their lovely bits whilst they’re becoming famous enough to warrant a career in television but as soon as they reach that point, away go their principals never to be seen again. I’ve always wondered if they ever really wanted to get them out in the first place, and now I’m wondering that about you.

I left university with ‘student’ debts and they set a pattern for my twenties of never quite having enough money to cover all of my living expenses and being able to live the lifestyle that my new graduate job deserved. Students are generally short of funds but the idea is that they should be rewarded for their studies by having loads of dosh once they graduate and get a job. This generation won’t because you’ll be clawing it all back in loans (and 40% tax lest we forget). Only in middle age will their money be their own. Some will leave with £27,000 of debt; that’s the cost of a wedding and a good car! We’ll know the intelligent couples by the fact that they couldn’t afford a wedding!

But of course that’s not true because those who go to University will have Daddy’s who can pay their fees and buy them a Vera Wang gown.

I do appreciate that cuts need to be made all round and I understand the reasons why. Can I put forward a couple of suggestions.

1. Reduce the number of places. You will achieve the same result of fewer people going to University but you will discriminate based on intelligence rather than wealth.
2. Cut English degrees. I’ve never seen the point. If people want to spend 5 hours a week reading a book and discussing it form a book club – it costs less to the tax payer.
3. Cut elections. Clearly they’re a waste of time because as soon as some-one gets into power they’ll do whatever they want anyway.

If you need any further suggestions on how to run the country I’m sure the secret services know exactly where to find me, what I’m wearing and what I had for lunch.

Kind regards

Sarah