At our Xmas party last night I had a conversation with one of the ladies from accounts. Our qualified first aider has recently left so the lady in question was asking me if I wanted to become the next first aider. In principle it’s a great idea as I get to go on a course for 4 days and play with bandages. However, my major concern would be that if some-one collapsed, I’d actually have to do something. I voiced this concern to my colleague from accounts. She went on to say the following.
“Well if some-one does collapse all you have to do is call an ambulance and put them in the missionary.”
This is not a position I’ve ever been in myself at work and I’m not sure it’s a place I want to go!
Happy Xmas
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Monday, December 12, 2005
POLTERGEIST ATTACK - UPDATE
I wrote to the chap who set up the ghost tours to tell him of my experience in the Black Mausoleum. After a few days he wrote back to me thanking me for taking the time to write to him. He then went on to offer me complementary places on the tour should I ever be in Edinburgh again. I haven’t answered that e-mail!!
I thought the whole incident was over and behind me until Saturday night. Whilst telling the story to a friend at dinner, boyfriend displayed his usual cynicism. “You just felt ill” he said. Once we’d had the obligatory “how dare you not believe I was attacked by a poltergeist” row, he went on to say the following.
“The only thing that I can’t explain about the whole thing is the scratches that were on your back.”
WHAT!!!
Earlier in the week he’d discovered some scratches on my back. When he’d pointed them out I’d started to freak out slightly!!! Thus, he quickly changed his story to say they were just marks from my bra. However, after 2 and a half bottles of wine on Saturday night he changed his story.
So what made the scratches? Neither my hand nor boyfriends hand is big enough to have made the scratches. I’m not sure we’ll ever know…
But one thing we do know - if I need to get the truth out of boyfriend then ply him with 2 and a half bottles of wine!!!
This is the last entry on this subject. It’s giving me the eebie jeebies!
I thought the whole incident was over and behind me until Saturday night. Whilst telling the story to a friend at dinner, boyfriend displayed his usual cynicism. “You just felt ill” he said. Once we’d had the obligatory “how dare you not believe I was attacked by a poltergeist” row, he went on to say the following.
“The only thing that I can’t explain about the whole thing is the scratches that were on your back.”
WHAT!!!
Earlier in the week he’d discovered some scratches on my back. When he’d pointed them out I’d started to freak out slightly!!! Thus, he quickly changed his story to say they were just marks from my bra. However, after 2 and a half bottles of wine on Saturday night he changed his story.
So what made the scratches? Neither my hand nor boyfriends hand is big enough to have made the scratches. I’m not sure we’ll ever know…
But one thing we do know - if I need to get the truth out of boyfriend then ply him with 2 and a half bottles of wine!!!
This is the last entry on this subject. It’s giving me the eebie jeebies!
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
MacKenzie Frenzy in Edinburgh
Now as some of you know, I am a bit psychic (that’s kick, not co) and strange things are often happening to me, so it won’t come as any surprise for you to hear I was attacked by a poltergeist on Sunday just gone. Yes, it’s completely true. Brace yourselves for a tale of horror.
I went to Edinburgh this weekend to celebrate my housemate turning 30. I went with my lovely boyfriend (the one who had the bra on his doorstep) and a whole host of other gorgeous people. On the Sunday evening, 10 of us decided that we should do a ghost tour. I was so keen I even organised the thing!
We decided to do the ‘City of the Dead’ tour at 7:30 in the evening so that it would be dark, but still early enough that we could go for dinner afterwards. The tour took us through some of the spots in Edinburgh where the most horrific and bloody events have taken place. We even did a re-enactment of one of them - as soon as I figure out how to put pictures on here they'll be one of me as a Roman soldier!
History lesson
If you already know this bit you can skip it. I’ve left out most of the facts and hammed up the dramatic bits to keep it interesting.
Many moons ago the Scottish Presbytarians, unhappy with the way that Charles I was running the show had yet another uprising against the English. This uprising was ruthlessly quashed, and those who did survive were sent to the Covenanters prison. There they were forced to lie face down on the floor all day until they came up for trial. There is no shelter in the Covenanters prison, so these people were open to the elements. If they stood up they were shot and probably had other horrible things happen to them as well.
The person responsible for this persecution was a chap called Bloody MacKenzie. He was a total sod and thoroughly enjoyed torturing the Presbytarians. When he finally carked it he was buried just outside the prison area where he’d carried out so much of his work.
In 1999 his grave was disturbed by a homeless drunk looking for a dry sheltered place to sleep. When I say disturbed, he actually fell through the bottom of the tomb into an illegal body dump and was discovered by the caretaker climbing out of this hole covered in slime and bones (Caretaker crapped himself as you can imagine!!)
Ever since then, there has been poltergeist activity within the Covenanters prison in the Black Mausoleum. This is odd as it’s not where Bloody MacKenzie was laid to rest, but when it comes to this sort of thing too many details just bogs you down!!!
This paranormal activity includes people being pushed, hit, scratched, burnt and knocked out. Some people have felt an invisible thing bonk them on the head. Next thing they know, they’re coming round outside. There are all of the usual cold spots etc, but the cold spots are so severe that if you don’t move you pass out.
There have been loads of investigations into this poltergeist and both dramatic changes in temperature and fluctuations in EMF readings have been taken at this site. Whether or not it’s a poltergeist can’t be conclusively said but something funny is certainly going on down there.
Shortly after the poltergeist activity started Edinburgh council closed the site to the public. The man who runs the tours saw an opportunity and asked them to re-open it for his tours. He now uses the tours as an experiment to document the poltergeist activity on the tourists. Is this legal?
Back to me!!!
As we walked through the Covenanters prison towards the black mausoleum I felt a little dread. When we went inside however I was mildly disappointed to find it was just a room!! I was expecting a large coffin with bones and blood everywhere. I stayed by the door regardless so as to ensure I didn't feel claustrophobic (I've not been claustrophobic previously but you never know!!)
For the first few minutes I was absolutely fine. After about 4-5 mins I started to feel a crushing sensation in my chest. I thought it might be because I was gripping my boyfriend too tightly so I loosened my grip. The pains continued. I then started to feel nauseous and my legs started to go weak. I was desperately trying to ignore the feelings as I didn’t want to miss out on seeing some-one being attacked by a poltergeist!! Also, I couldn’t live with the shame of being the one who did get attacked!
It got to the point where I thought I may actually be sick. I’ve been taught from a young age it’s wrong to throw up in graveyards so I made boyfriend take me outside. Once I was standing outside the mausoleum the nausea got worse and I started having pains in my stomach. By this point I felt really weak and light headed.
That part of the tour over, we started to exit the prison area (me leading the way!!). As I walked away the nausea became worse and I started to wretch, as if I was going to throw up. It was a real battle to stay upright and not throw up at this point. Once I'd walked through the gates the wretching was really bad and I started to feel a crushing sensation in my hips which started sending spasms of pain up my back. As we walked to the next part of the tour I started to feel a bit better.
Despite feeling like crap, I really enjoyed this tour – the guide was amazing. I can highly recommend that you all go on it. I myself will never be going on anything remotely similar ever again!
So what happened?
I’ve done a bit of investigating into what happened to me that night, mainly so that I can come up with a rational explanation and people will stop thinking I’m nuts. The following are possible explanations.
1. A Poltergeist attacked me
3. All of the 50 people in the mausoleum were releasing an increased number of pheromones as everybody does in a situation where fear is involved. Pheromones from one person are proven to have physical effects on others. It could be that I’m super sensitive to pheromones and being bombarded by that many at once made me ill.
3. I had a really bizarre anxiety attack (although a lot of the symptoms don’t seem to fit, but maybe I have special anxiety attacks!).
This list is not exhaustive so if you have any theories of your own please feel free to send them on to me via e-mail. If they’re abusive, I will name and shame you on the blog!!!
If I’m nuts I’m not alone
The link below will take you to the website which has other peoples’ experiences in the black mausoleum. Some of them are hilarious!!
http://www.blackhart.uk.com/cod/surv.html
I went to Edinburgh this weekend to celebrate my housemate turning 30. I went with my lovely boyfriend (the one who had the bra on his doorstep) and a whole host of other gorgeous people. On the Sunday evening, 10 of us decided that we should do a ghost tour. I was so keen I even organised the thing!
We decided to do the ‘City of the Dead’ tour at 7:30 in the evening so that it would be dark, but still early enough that we could go for dinner afterwards. The tour took us through some of the spots in Edinburgh where the most horrific and bloody events have taken place. We even did a re-enactment of one of them - as soon as I figure out how to put pictures on here they'll be one of me as a Roman soldier!
The final parts of the tour were in Greyfriars graveyard. When I got to the graveyard I was a little apprehensive. Luckily lovely boyfriend was making himself fully available for hand holding duties so I wasn’t as scared as all the single people!!!! The final part of the tour took us into the black mausoleum which is in the Covenanters prison. The history for this piece of land is gruesome.
History lesson
If you already know this bit you can skip it. I’ve left out most of the facts and hammed up the dramatic bits to keep it interesting.
Many moons ago the Scottish Presbytarians, unhappy with the way that Charles I was running the show had yet another uprising against the English. This uprising was ruthlessly quashed, and those who did survive were sent to the Covenanters prison. There they were forced to lie face down on the floor all day until they came up for trial. There is no shelter in the Covenanters prison, so these people were open to the elements. If they stood up they were shot and probably had other horrible things happen to them as well.
The person responsible for this persecution was a chap called Bloody MacKenzie. He was a total sod and thoroughly enjoyed torturing the Presbytarians. When he finally carked it he was buried just outside the prison area where he’d carried out so much of his work.
In 1999 his grave was disturbed by a homeless drunk looking for a dry sheltered place to sleep. When I say disturbed, he actually fell through the bottom of the tomb into an illegal body dump and was discovered by the caretaker climbing out of this hole covered in slime and bones (Caretaker crapped himself as you can imagine!!)
Ever since then, there has been poltergeist activity within the Covenanters prison in the Black Mausoleum. This is odd as it’s not where Bloody MacKenzie was laid to rest, but when it comes to this sort of thing too many details just bogs you down!!!
This paranormal activity includes people being pushed, hit, scratched, burnt and knocked out. Some people have felt an invisible thing bonk them on the head. Next thing they know, they’re coming round outside. There are all of the usual cold spots etc, but the cold spots are so severe that if you don’t move you pass out.
There have been loads of investigations into this poltergeist and both dramatic changes in temperature and fluctuations in EMF readings have been taken at this site. Whether or not it’s a poltergeist can’t be conclusively said but something funny is certainly going on down there.
Shortly after the poltergeist activity started Edinburgh council closed the site to the public. The man who runs the tours saw an opportunity and asked them to re-open it for his tours. He now uses the tours as an experiment to document the poltergeist activity on the tourists. Is this legal?
Back to me!!!
As we walked through the Covenanters prison towards the black mausoleum I felt a little dread. When we went inside however I was mildly disappointed to find it was just a room!! I was expecting a large coffin with bones and blood everywhere. I stayed by the door regardless so as to ensure I didn't feel claustrophobic (I've not been claustrophobic previously but you never know!!)
For the first few minutes I was absolutely fine. After about 4-5 mins I started to feel a crushing sensation in my chest. I thought it might be because I was gripping my boyfriend too tightly so I loosened my grip. The pains continued. I then started to feel nauseous and my legs started to go weak. I was desperately trying to ignore the feelings as I didn’t want to miss out on seeing some-one being attacked by a poltergeist!! Also, I couldn’t live with the shame of being the one who did get attacked!
It got to the point where I thought I may actually be sick. I’ve been taught from a young age it’s wrong to throw up in graveyards so I made boyfriend take me outside. Once I was standing outside the mausoleum the nausea got worse and I started having pains in my stomach. By this point I felt really weak and light headed.
That part of the tour over, we started to exit the prison area (me leading the way!!). As I walked away the nausea became worse and I started to wretch, as if I was going to throw up. It was a real battle to stay upright and not throw up at this point. Once I'd walked through the gates the wretching was really bad and I started to feel a crushing sensation in my hips which started sending spasms of pain up my back. As we walked to the next part of the tour I started to feel a bit better.
Despite feeling like crap, I really enjoyed this tour – the guide was amazing. I can highly recommend that you all go on it. I myself will never be going on anything remotely similar ever again!
So what happened?
I’ve done a bit of investigating into what happened to me that night, mainly so that I can come up with a rational explanation and people will stop thinking I’m nuts. The following are possible explanations.
1. A Poltergeist attacked me
3. All of the 50 people in the mausoleum were releasing an increased number of pheromones as everybody does in a situation where fear is involved. Pheromones from one person are proven to have physical effects on others. It could be that I’m super sensitive to pheromones and being bombarded by that many at once made me ill.
3. I had a really bizarre anxiety attack (although a lot of the symptoms don’t seem to fit, but maybe I have special anxiety attacks!).
This list is not exhaustive so if you have any theories of your own please feel free to send them on to me via e-mail. If they’re abusive, I will name and shame you on the blog!!!
If I’m nuts I’m not alone
The link below will take you to the website which has other peoples’ experiences in the black mausoleum. Some of them are hilarious!!
http://www.blackhart.uk.com/cod/surv.html
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
BIG SHOUT OUT TO ANOTHER BLOGGER
I stole the idea to start a Blog of a mate of mine, so thought I'd send you a link to his site too. He's fabulously funny!!
http://stuffwhatihavewroted.blogspot.com/
PS It's not a cult - you can look without having to write your own blog!!!
http://stuffwhatihavewroted.blogspot.com/
PS It's not a cult - you can look without having to write your own blog!!!
ACHVIEMENT
I didn't finish the Disaster on the M1 story properly!
When I finally got back to boyfriends house he had run me a bath and cooked me a big bowl of curly fries with cheese.
How sweet.
To be fair though, he did send me off to the midlands in a blow up car!
When I finally got back to boyfriends house he had run me a bath and cooked me a big bowl of curly fries with cheese.
How sweet.
To be fair though, he did send me off to the midlands in a blow up car!
HILARIOUS BRA STORY
BACKGROUND
I'm currently doing an amateur panto and the rehearsals are in a rather awkward place for me to get to (actually, it's not that awkward, it's just that I'm crap at using public transport). Also, I have to get back on my own late at night so my fabulous boyfriend insured me on his car. Unfortunately the car can only be parked outside of his house due to parking permits so when I do use the car I then end up having to either stay at his house, or walk home in the dark on my own. That boy is no fool!!!
You also need to know that there are two girls that live in the flat above boyfriends, and they share a front door.
THE STORY
It was rehearsal night so I went to boyfriends’ house straight from work to pick up the car keys. Knowing that I was going to be staying over at boyfriends’ house I had packed my overnight bag (rucksack for the less glamorous amongst you!). I got to the door step and started rummaging in the bag for the keys. I couldn’t find them so put the bag on the floor to rummage further. I then spotted a bra on the doorstep, laid out completely flat! I thought “How odd”, found my keys, stepped over the bra and went into boyfriends flat.
“Hello boyfriend” I said, “There is a bra on your front doorstep”. “Ah, that’ll be the fox” said boyfriend. It transpires that, despite being highly sophisticated city animals, the foxes in Clapham don’t wear bras. Rather, the fox drags things out of the bin to eat. The theory was that the fox had dragged the bra out of the bin in an attempt to get to some food.
So I grabbed the car keys, stepped over the bra and went on my way to rehearsals. I came back from rehearsals at about 10:30pm and the bra was still there. At this point I thought “Should I hang this bra on the inside door of the girls upstairs?” but decided against it because if the fox had dragged it out of the bin then they clearly don’t want it. I figured that they’d find it in the morning.
I went to bed, went to sleep, got up the next morning and got ready for work. Opened the front door to leave for work and the bra is still there. As it’s now daylight I decide that the bra can’t stay on the front doorstep of my boyfriends’ house. What would the neighbours think! So I bent down to pick up the bra and only then did I realise that it was my bra! It had fallen out of my bag when I was rummaging for the keys.
I took it back into the house and boyfriend washed it for me later that week. You’ll be please to know that the bra is fine and has made a complete recovery from being left on the doorstep all night!
I'm currently doing an amateur panto and the rehearsals are in a rather awkward place for me to get to (actually, it's not that awkward, it's just that I'm crap at using public transport). Also, I have to get back on my own late at night so my fabulous boyfriend insured me on his car. Unfortunately the car can only be parked outside of his house due to parking permits so when I do use the car I then end up having to either stay at his house, or walk home in the dark on my own. That boy is no fool!!!
You also need to know that there are two girls that live in the flat above boyfriends, and they share a front door.
THE STORY
It was rehearsal night so I went to boyfriends’ house straight from work to pick up the car keys. Knowing that I was going to be staying over at boyfriends’ house I had packed my overnight bag (rucksack for the less glamorous amongst you!). I got to the door step and started rummaging in the bag for the keys. I couldn’t find them so put the bag on the floor to rummage further. I then spotted a bra on the doorstep, laid out completely flat! I thought “How odd”, found my keys, stepped over the bra and went into boyfriends flat.
“Hello boyfriend” I said, “There is a bra on your front doorstep”. “Ah, that’ll be the fox” said boyfriend. It transpires that, despite being highly sophisticated city animals, the foxes in Clapham don’t wear bras. Rather, the fox drags things out of the bin to eat. The theory was that the fox had dragged the bra out of the bin in an attempt to get to some food.
So I grabbed the car keys, stepped over the bra and went on my way to rehearsals. I came back from rehearsals at about 10:30pm and the bra was still there. At this point I thought “Should I hang this bra on the inside door of the girls upstairs?” but decided against it because if the fox had dragged it out of the bin then they clearly don’t want it. I figured that they’d find it in the morning.
I went to bed, went to sleep, got up the next morning and got ready for work. Opened the front door to leave for work and the bra is still there. As it’s now daylight I decide that the bra can’t stay on the front doorstep of my boyfriends’ house. What would the neighbours think! So I bent down to pick up the bra and only then did I realise that it was my bra! It had fallen out of my bag when I was rummaging for the keys.
I took it back into the house and boyfriend washed it for me later that week. You’ll be please to know that the bra is fine and has made a complete recovery from being left on the doorstep all night!
Monday, November 21, 2005
Disaster on the M1
I was coming back from my Brothers house, having left early because I needed to get to Southfield's for 2pm for a rehearsal. I'm going down the M1 (not ragging the car as you would expect!!) when I hit a traffic jam. Transpires there had been an accident, so the motorway was pretty much stationary. I crawled past the exit slip for junction 10 and was approaching the bit of the road where the entry slip meets the motorway, in the middle lane, when all of a sudden masses of smoke poured out of the bonnet and engulfed the car. I quickly switched off the engine and proceeded to begin the very important task of panicking! Thankfully a lorry driver got out and pushed me to the side of the road. Then another lady stopped and gave me some water to put into the car, which at this point we had decided was overheating. I had no idea where to put the water, but I took it and thanked her!
Then I phoned my boyfriend who owns the car. "Boyfriend" I said "You're car is broken!!" He told me ring the AA. At this point the woman came back (oddly enough, I think she must have reversed up the hard shoulder) and a Spanish lorry driver got out to help me. The two of them figured out how to open the bonnet, and then the woman left, so the Spanish lorry driver took off the cap and put the water in the appropriate place. By this point the car had cooled so he got in and tried to start it. It wouldn't start. It wasn't until hours afterwards that it occurred to me that the immobiliser was on!! Oops!
So I asked the Spanish lorry driver to help me push the car onto the hard shoulder on the slip road which he did. His work was now done, so he grabbed hold of me, kissed me on both cheeks and ran back to his lorry!
I waited for the car to cool right down, took off the immobiliser and started the car. It started of course, but after about 5 minutes steam was starting to come out again. At this point I decided that clearly I can't drive down the M1 with steam coming out of the car so I'll get the AA to tow me away.
I rang the AA with the membership number that boyfriend had given me and was told that because boyfriend wasn't with the car they wouldn't come and get me. Transpires that it's boyfriend that is covered, not the car. They suggested that I go to one of the orange SOS boxes and call the police who would send out a garage for which I'd have to pay. I put the phone down and cried! Once I'd done that I walked down the motorway to the orange SOS box and called the motorway control room. They were lovely and tried to figure out a way I could be towed for free. We couldn't figure one out so they called a garage to come and tow me away.
Then I went back to the car and prepared to wait. I rang the bank to transfer some money so that I could afford to pay for the tow truck. The end of the conversation went thus.
Bank man "Is there anything else we can do for you Miss Cantrill"
Me "Well, if you could come to the M1 and fix my car that's broken down that
would be great!!"
Bank man "Have you rung green flag?"
Me "No. My boyfriends with the AA but it transpires that it's him that's covered
rather than the car so I'm having to call a garage out"
Bank man "Because you have an additions account you have nationwide breakdown cover
with Green Flag"
Me "Seriously"
Bank man "Yes, seriously. Would you like the number"
Me "God yes"
And so it was that green flag came, put the car on the back of the lorry and drove it back to Clapham. The motorway had been totally closed by now so we went back up the slip road and took the back routes to get to the M25. This was fabulous as we went past Whipsnade zoo so I saw some penguins, some wallabys and some Bison. Hoorah.
I got back to London at about 6pm. I'd left my destination which was 100 miles away at 11am that morning. Boo!
Then I phoned my boyfriend who owns the car. "Boyfriend" I said "You're car is broken!!" He told me ring the AA. At this point the woman came back (oddly enough, I think she must have reversed up the hard shoulder) and a Spanish lorry driver got out to help me. The two of them figured out how to open the bonnet, and then the woman left, so the Spanish lorry driver took off the cap and put the water in the appropriate place. By this point the car had cooled so he got in and tried to start it. It wouldn't start. It wasn't until hours afterwards that it occurred to me that the immobiliser was on!! Oops!
So I asked the Spanish lorry driver to help me push the car onto the hard shoulder on the slip road which he did. His work was now done, so he grabbed hold of me, kissed me on both cheeks and ran back to his lorry!
I waited for the car to cool right down, took off the immobiliser and started the car. It started of course, but after about 5 minutes steam was starting to come out again. At this point I decided that clearly I can't drive down the M1 with steam coming out of the car so I'll get the AA to tow me away.
I rang the AA with the membership number that boyfriend had given me and was told that because boyfriend wasn't with the car they wouldn't come and get me. Transpires that it's boyfriend that is covered, not the car. They suggested that I go to one of the orange SOS boxes and call the police who would send out a garage for which I'd have to pay. I put the phone down and cried! Once I'd done that I walked down the motorway to the orange SOS box and called the motorway control room. They were lovely and tried to figure out a way I could be towed for free. We couldn't figure one out so they called a garage to come and tow me away.
Then I went back to the car and prepared to wait. I rang the bank to transfer some money so that I could afford to pay for the tow truck. The end of the conversation went thus.
Bank man "Is there anything else we can do for you Miss Cantrill"
Me "Well, if you could come to the M1 and fix my car that's broken down that
would be great!!"
Bank man "Have you rung green flag?"
Me "No. My boyfriends with the AA but it transpires that it's him that's covered
rather than the car so I'm having to call a garage out"
Bank man "Because you have an additions account you have nationwide breakdown cover
with Green Flag"
Me "Seriously"
Bank man "Yes, seriously. Would you like the number"
Me "God yes"
And so it was that green flag came, put the car on the back of the lorry and drove it back to Clapham. The motorway had been totally closed by now so we went back up the slip road and took the back routes to get to the M25. This was fabulous as we went past Whipsnade zoo so I saw some penguins, some wallabys and some Bison. Hoorah.
I got back to London at about 6pm. I'd left my destination which was 100 miles away at 11am that morning. Boo!
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